Finally, I’ll name what we all know but haven’t all been able to disavow. When we create that fairytale picture and have that subconscious expectation, anything less than will feel wrong in comparision. We’ll feel disappointed and alone in search for the prince or princess.

Moreover, there’s often a notion that we will feel “whole” and “complete” when we have a partner for life. If we are looking for completeness, we need to be whole in our own self. We all intuitively know this, but we still look for external validation, which is, of course, a natural, human response. However, if we were to shift the paradigm of “he/she is everything to me” to “they are such a great addition and support to my life” we can be in a place to manage any disappointments or challenges that will inevitably happen.

If we first have a sense of self-love and a supportive community, finding a good partner won’t feel so lonely. At the very least, it will lighten the sense of burden.

a.k.a. Dr Pete …

About a decade ago, while I was writing a chapter on online dating for a book on relationships, I began research on the various online dating sites. In order to get an up-close look at how these dating websites worked, I joined a few of the most popular ones. Most of them began the registration and membership process by having me take some type of “compatibility quiz.” Some of these dating websites had lengthy, in-depth questionnaires. Others just stuck to asking me about the basics such as age, dating goals, education and profession. Yet, in the long run, I found that most of the compatibility tests were flawed in one way or another.

On a Sites de namoro tailandeses na AmГ©rica couple of these dating websites, I registered as “Dr. Pete A. Padilla.” I do have a Ph.D. and can use such a title if I choose to. However, whenever I registered as “Dr. Padilla,” the computer algorithms these websites used to find compatible partners started matching me with people that were exclusively in the medical field. Continuarea →